So, You've Run the Dublin Marathon—What's Next?

Well, congratulations. You've completed the Dublin Marathon! You’ve officially paid a fair chunk of change for the privilege of exhausting yourself, destroying your knees, and showing off your grit. It’s a marvel, really, 26.2 miles, probably without a single pub stop. Not even a Guinness. Who says you can’t do anything if you set your mind to it?

But now, you might be feeling a bit lost. The marathon’s done, the medal’s on the shelf (or stuffed into a drawer). You’ve achieved something meaningful, but so what? What’s next? Well, don't worry!  We've got some ideas to keep that adrenaline going. Spoiler alert: some of these are painful. But you're clearly that floats your boat.

1. The Ultra-Marathon

It’s the natural next step, right? You’ve done 26.2 miles, so why not go for 50 or 100? It’s basically just like doubling a marathon! Only this time, you’ll need to factor in an existential crisis, a strained marriage, and a second mortgage for the medical bills. Imagine running until you can no longer feel feelings. If you thought 26.2 miles was bad, just wait until you hit mile 60 and hallucinate that Bono is cheering you on. (Spoiler: he’s not.)

2. Triathlon Training

Take up the classic triathlon, because running wasn’t quite enough punishment, was it? Now, instead of just destroying your legs, you can trash your entire body. There’s swimming, biking, and running. Imagine getting a cramp in three sports instead of just one. You can tell your friends you’re “training for a triathlon” and enjoy watching their expressions switch from impressed to genuinely concerned.

Just don’t drown during the swim, there’s no “runner’s high” in the bottom of the River Liffey.

3. “Retire” Into a Local Running Group

Nothing says "I used to be an athlete" like spending Saturday mornings hanging out with people who are 80% Lycra. These are the folks who talk about running the way most people talk about their children: “Oh, I ran a 5K last weekend in under 30 minutes,” they'll say, as if that's impressive and not, in fact, the sort of thing normal people do to catch a bus.

Running groups also love to post sweaty selfies on social media, so invest in a good camera phone and get ready for the endless, desperate search for validation from an audience that never asked for it. But hey, at least you'll finally fill up that loyalty card at the overpriced coffee shop, right?

4. Enter the Spartan Race

Think of the Dublin Marathon as child’s play. The Spartan Race involves mud, barbed wire, and hurdles. Oh, and heaps of hubris. You’re not just running, you’re lifting, climbing, crawling, and crying. But don’t worry, once you’ve scraped every last bit of skin off your knees and been electrocuted a few times, you’ll get another medal to add to your collection of things you probably won’t remember after you make up in the accident and emergency department.

And remember, if you want your friends to think you’re completely unhinged, there’s no better way than voluntarily paying to be tasered in a muddy field.

5. The 4x4x48 Challenge

If you’re looking for something a bit more insane, try the 4x4x48 challenge. That’s running 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours. It’s perfect if you want the feeling of staying up all night while also experiencing an ungodly amount of physical pain. It’s like a marathon, but with the added bonus of serious sleep deprivation. 

If you thought 26.2 miles was bad, just wait until you hit mile 60 and hallucinate that Goggins is behind you, shouting, “What’s your excuse?” You’ll get that nice, thousand-yard stare that says, “I just saw the face of God—and he was laughing at me.”

6. Take Up Competitive Eating

Why not pivot to something truly rewarding? You've burned through thousands of calories, right? Time to put them back on in style! Competitive eating is like marathon running, but the pain is in your stomach, not your legs. Plus, there's no training required—just the willpower to look yourself in the mirror afterward. And while running gives you blisters, eating 40 hot dogs in 10 minutes only gives you acid reflux and the crushing existential realization that this is what you've done with your life.

7. Write Your Memoir

Sure, anyone can write a book about running a marathon, but that’s what makes yours even more forgettable. “The Courage to Run 26.2 Miles: My Story” will look great on the bottom shelf in your parents’ spare room, next to the old board games no one plays. Think of it as your chance to immortalize yourself in a way that only a niche group of fellow masochists will ever understand.

8. Sign Up for a Spring Marathon in Europe

Let’s face it, no one completes a marathon and just stops. You’ve got the running bug now, and while it’s a shame there’s no cure, at least Europe’s full of spring races. Try Malta in February, or Barcelona or Rome in March—you’ll get another 26.2 miles of pain, just with better views.

In Malta, you’ll dodge Vespas while sweating by the Med. In Barcelona, enjoy breezing past La Sagrada Familia—still under construction, much like your stamina. Or there’s Rome, where you’ll weave between ancient ruins and potholes the size of your ambitions, with medics who’ll get to you… eventually.

9. Do Nothing

Now here's a revolutionary idea: just... do nothing. Embrace the radical notion that after voluntarily running 26.2 miles, you've earned the right to sit down, maybe forever. Consider treating yourself to a Netflix binge or a deep, satisfying nap that lasts a full calendar year. You’ve reached the peak of athletic achievement, so relax—let your running shoes gather dust and treat your legs to a long, guilt-free relationship with the couch.

Remember, it’s okay to stop! In fact, it’s probably healthier to stop. Plus, you get to enjoy the smuggest “I’ve already run a marathon” attitude when your friends mention their latest 5K. Whenever anyone asks if you’re training for something, just shrug and say, “Nah, I’m retired,” as you settle in with a bag of crisps and the cozy knowledge that you’ll never have to subject yourself to marathon-induced chafing again.

Conclusion

So, what’s next for you? More pain, more medals, and the increasingly irrelevant bragging rights. Whatever you choose, just remember: everyone around you thinks you're a little crazy, but isn’t that the whole point?