Welcome back to Racing Bizarre, where we look some of the more off the wall running events out there. This edition takes us to Llanwrtyd Wells in the UK, where the 22.5-mile Man vs Horse marathon tests the limits of human endurance against the power of some of nature’s most majestic creatures. Spoiler alert: the horses usually win, but occasionally, a human just might sneak through, though you’d better start training hard if you want to be that one in a million.
The Race That Started Over a Pint
The race's origins are as charmingly ridiculous as the event itself. Back in 1980, during a casual pub chat in Wales, the question was raised: who’s faster, man or horse? Naturally, the best way to settle this life or death question was to create a race. The result was the Man vs Horse marathon, an annual event where human runners face off against horses across some of the toughest terrain you can imagine. Over the years, the race has evolved into a truly bizarre tradition, attracting participants from all over the world, many of whom seem to have a death wish or at least a very odd sense of humour.
The Course – Nature’s Playground of Pain
The 22.5-mile course for the humans is one of the toughest endurance challenges in the world. But don’t feel sorry for the horses; they have to travel a slightly longer 24-mile route, so they’re not exactly getting an easy ride either. The course includes steep hills, streams, and bogs, which would make even the most seasoned runners question their life choices. Add to that the unpredictable Welsh weather, be it rain, mud, and cold, with a sprinkle of misfortune and you’ve got a recipe for a truly miserable time. Every year, competitors claim that the course is designed by sadists, but they keep coming back for more, like masochistic sheep, yes, I mean that literally, because the Welsh hills are full of them.
The horses, on the other hand, don’t seem to mind a bit. They trot along with that irritatingly calm expression that says, “Yeah, I’m fast. What of it?” Meanwhile, the human runners are huffing and puffing behind them, desperately trying to keep up, and often contemplating their life choices.
The Horses – Speed, Agility, and a Dash of Arrogance
Let’s talk about the horses. These animals are bred for speed, and it shows. They make running look easy, gliding through the hills like they’ve got springs in their hooves. The horses are well aware of their superiority in this race, and they’ve got no problem reminding us of it. They never sweat, they never pant, and they sure as hell don’t question whether they’re “feeling it” today. They just get on with it. Meanwhile, the poor humans are digging deep, desperately trying to keep pace, and battling through every hill like it’s the final mile of a marathon in a heatwave.
In 2004, a human, Huw Lobb, managed to pull off the impossible and beat a horse in this race. But it hasn’t happened since, and the horses have made it their mission to remind humanity that no matter how advanced our technology becomes, we will always lose to a horse in a race. The only real question left is whether or not the horse will break a sweat.
The Odds – Let’s Be Real, It’s a Long Shot
If you’re considering signing up for the Man vs Horse race, here’s some sobering news: since its inception, only four humans have managed to win, and the most recent victory came in 2024. Daniel Connolly became the fourth human to beat the horses, finishing the race in 2 hours, 24 minutes, and 38 seconds, nearly 10 minutes ahead of the first horse, DNS Ronaldo, who was ridden by Kate Atkinson. However, the odds are still heavily stacked in favour of the horses, who win more than 90% of the time.
So, if you’ve got a competitive streak and a burning desire to outrun a horse, you’ve got to be pretty darn good. If you think you’re up for it, just remember that most of the time, the horses will be sipping a pint at the finish line while you’re still somewhere in the bog, wondering why you didn’t just take up knitting instead.
Race Day – A Bit of Humour, a Lot of Mud
Race day is an absolute spectacle. The runners, most of whom have trained for months to race a creature that’s genetically designed to be faster than them, line up at the start. There’s a palpable sense of optimism in the air… which quickly gives way to disbelief as the horses take off with an effortless gallop, leaving the runners in their dust. The entire event is simultaneously inspiring and utterly absurd. But that’s what makes it quintessentially British, everything must be ridiculous, and yet somehow, we keep doing it.
The spectators are just as baffled as the runners. Some of them might be hoping to witness the rare human victory, but most seem content with watching the horses effortlessly gallop to victory while the humans look like they’re about to collapse into a heap of Lycra. Still, there’s something uniquely charming about the event. Maybe it’s the underdog spirit or maybe it’s just the sheer absurdity of it all, but there’s no denying that the Man vs Horse marathon is an unmissable spectacle.
Looking Ahead – A Race Like No Other
So, if you’re up for a challenge that may break both your spirit and your legs, why not give it a go? It’s one of those events that attracts people from all walks of life: seasoned marathon runners, equestrian enthusiasts, and thrill-seekers looking for a unique adventure. The Man vs Horse marathon isn’t just a race; it’s a celebration of British eccentricity at its finest.
Whether you win or lose (let’s be honest, you’re probably going to lose), it’s a race that will leave you with stories to tell for years. And if you’ve got a good sense of humour, you might just find yourself laughing along with the rest of the crowd when the horses inevitably triumph, reminding us all that no matter how hard we try, we’re no match for an animal with four legs and a decent gallop.
So, what are you waiting for? Lace up your shoes, take a deep breath, and prepare for the Man vs Horse marathon. Just make sure you’re not too attached to the idea of winning.